Sawyer's spirit

Even though Sawyer's never been here, it feels like there is a ghost in this house - in general terms.

Actually, the house feels more empty than it's ever felt.

His spirit is gone.

An old, white sheet covers his bassinet and all his things are carefully put away under the stairs and out of sight. But, we all know where they are. We all know that when we walk into Sadie's room, Sawyer's crib would be where her bed is and that the smell of baby lotion should be wafting out of the linen closet.

I think that's why we want to move so badly now. Sawyer was here. And we miss him more every day. It gets better, but it gets so much harder at the same time.