My Mammers

I haven't taken the time to write about Sadie much since everything happened. She's growing by leaps and bounds - talking in sentences, not just scattered words. She can recognize her own name in print, loves to show her creative and artistic side and is gifted with music.

Since Sawyer passed away, I've had a very short fuse with Mammers and I feel terribly guilty about it. She deserves a better mommy right now, not the scatter-brained zombie that I've turned into.

She's taken everything quite well. With a few exceptions, I really feel that she truly understands that Sawyer is not coming home. For a while there, she thought he just wasn't here - but would be home soon. That was hard.

One of her favorite things to do this summer is swim. When we put her "floaties" on her arms, *OMG* she completely turns into a little fish! She doesn't want anyone's help and swims on her own in Grandpa's pool. She can even hold her breath and go under the water. And she's only two and a half!

Speaking of her age. She's halfway to three years old and nothing like the baby I once knew. She is a little girl. Obsessed with playing dishes and watching "Prin-shesh" movies. She is blossoming right before my eyes - and I've missed a lot of it. I literally woke up one morning and was amazed at her growth and transformation.

She plays so well. Her little imaginative mind races when she plays with her dollhouse and toys. She builds castles with her blocks and feeds her stuffed kitty with our real cat's food.

When we are out in public and she plays on the playground or in a playroom at the store - I get so sad, so quickly. She is alone and she shouldn't be. She is a big sister to her father and I, but to passerby, she's an only child. And that makes my heart heavy. I pray to God that someday, he will bless us with another brother or sister for Sadie. Erik and I grew up surrounded by our siblings - and I only want the same for her.

So, in a nutshell, Mammers is turning into quite the little lady. And I'm proud of her in ways I never could have imagined before. Now, if we could just get that potty thing down...