Thursday, November 5, 2009


I find myself literally daydreaming as I hunker down behind the wheel of my mom-mobile, carseat in the back with the iconic "Baby on Board" sign hanging in the window.

Certain songs can take me back in an instant. Back to my early 20s and the life I led without responsibilities, a disposable income and the freedom to do anything, anytime, anywhere.

Maybe some look back and regret that they didn't do enough. I reflect on my memories - some fondly, others not-so-much. But all those moments brought me to this exact instant. I wouldn't change it, I wouldn't have done more or less. I lived life, and I had fun.

Nowadays, I'm living a different life. And the past 3 years have been more real than any other part of life I've lived. It may have to do with the fact that I feel I've gone through more than most 75-year-olds or it could just be as simple as waking up in the morning, next to your own child in bed - her bright eyes twinkling - she reaches up, hugs you and says "Hi Mommy."

Trust me, all of my moments are not so Hallmark. In fact, the Hallmark moments are hard to come by. It's easy to feel sorry for yourself and feel lonely. To feel misused or that you aren't living life to your full potential as you parent 24-7. Then I stop to think about how I became the person I am. Someone taught me my ABC's, right from wrong, how to tie my shoes. Little things indeed, but I know I've learned the greatest lessons in life from those who have lived them too - who understand you, and who know you more than anyone else. Can't deny that. It's in your blood whether you like it or not. I guess it's how you use it that counts.