Friday, February 27, 2009

Sadie's First Year - "In Pictures"

Children's Memorial Hospital - Giving back on Sadie's birthday

Today was a long and emotional day. I sit here at 7 o'clock at night and almost feel that same draining, exhausted feeling I had when we would get home every night from seeing Sadie. Almost...but not quite.

It was great to donate all the infant rattles, teethers and crib toys for the NICU and PICU. We had another bag full of other various toys for different parts of the hospital too which was great. Next year, I was thinking about donating handmade blankets or maybe boxes of diapers. Just a little something different every year.

We had lunch and Sadie was more giggly and excited than I have ever seen her. I really think she knew exactly where she was and why we were there. Or maybe she could sense our joy in giving back.

After donating the toys, we visited the gift shop to buy Sadie a new CMH shirt (a white t-shirt with a sparkly pink heart in the middle). Proceeds go back to the hospital so we were happy to buy it for her.

We had lunch in the cafeteria, posed with Ronald McDonald for a few pics - then headed off to the chapel to pray for all the sick babies in the NICU and to thank God for our daughter.

As we were waiting for the valet to bring the car around, a little girl around 7 or 8 years old was waiting with her mom for a cab to bring them home after a long night of throwing up. She was bald, except for maybe four patches of scraggly hair hanging off the top of her small head. She was wearing a mask and was smiling at Sadie - who smiled back of course. Even though she had her mask on, I told her that Sadie knew she was smiling because her eyes smiled for her. They were bright and vibrant, full of heart and strength. I hope she will be better soon.

It felt like we had never left that hospital. It became so familiar to us over those weeks that we spent in the NICU. The entire experience made the past year seem like it just started yesterday - within the blink of an eye.

I'll try to post some pics from the day a little later. Thank you again to everyone who wished Sadie a happy birthday and for donating to such a wonderful cause.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Thursday, February 19, 2009

My sixth sense

I've always had a gift or power - whatever people want to call it - to see things before they happen. It's usually nothing profound or significant, but it's enough to send a few chills up my back.

Today I experienced one of those moments - however (for the first time) I saw it so clear - more than usual. So clearly in fact that I had enough time to act on the vision.

Driving home from my parent's house in Mokena and had just got onto I-80 westbound toward home. While merging, I noticed the semi whizzing past me, making a mental note for whatever reason.

After about 2 minutes, I caught up to that semi - eyes fixated on the tires closest to the front of the truck. Then I saw it. I slammed on my brakes in enough time to see what I had seen in my head seconds before - the tire exploding so violently that it very possibly could have blown the windows of my car off if it hit me.

So finally, a vision has possibly saved me from harm. I'll let you know if I see anything else anytime soon...

My Top 15 Albums

I will try and repost individually when I have more time and explain the reasoning behind each pick.
Add It Up - Violent Femmes
Abbey Road - The Beatles
Legend: The Best of Bob Marley and The Wailers - Bob Marley
Coat Of Many Colors - Dolly Parton
Ill Communication - Beastie Boys
Magical Mystery Tour - The Beatles
At Folsom Prison - Johnny Cash
The Hits - Garth Brooks
Ray Of Light - Madonna
Play - Moby
Siamese Dream - Smashing Pumpkins
The Marshall Mathers LP - Eminem
The Chronic - Dr. Dre
The Beatles - The White Album
Dark Side Of The Moon - Pink Floyd

For as much as life sucks...

Erik can do nothing wrong in my eyes. How the hell did I get so lucky?

And baby's are a nice way to wake up in the morning. Thanks Sadie.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Best shopping day EVER

I went shopping with my mom today to a store that was closing. Today was the last day of the sale - 90% off!
With Erik out of the job, of course we took advantage. Well, by the time we hit some of the last aisles - a guy comes on the loudspeaker and announces that EVERYTHING is now reduced to 99.9% OFF!

People were freaking out! My mom got an $80 wool coat for 8 CENTS! I had so much stuff in my cart I can't even begin to list half of it! All in all - the greatest shopping experience of my life (thus far haha)!

Orland Park

Last night I went to my cousin's wedding in Orland Park. It was east of LaGrange off of 143rd - so getting off I-80 at LaGrange meant I had to drive thru the heart of OP on a Saturday evening at 6 p.m.

Did I mention it was Valentine's Day?

I just have a question...How in the hell does ANYONE live in Orland Park? The traffic was enough to get my blood BOILING. UGH! I was so angry.

I swear, everytime I hit up the "burbs" I am reminded at how much I love living out in the shticks. I love that every road out here starts with the word Route. And I love that it takes me 10 minutes to go 10 miles - not 30 minutes.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


I have to say things aren't exactly going the way I've planned in life. Not that life sticks to some great "plan" that we have all laid out in our heads, but you really don't expect it to stray too far from the road you've decided to take.

I have to say that I'm definitely getting used to adversity. I wallow in my own despair and enjoy the emotions that come with it. It's okay to wallow. It's okay to feel sorry for myself. If I didn't, I might as well be better off dead because who would want to live like that?

The one issue with strife I can't seem to conquer is the constant worry. I'm great at it - so great that it makes me sick. I really have to figure out a way to stop with all of the "what if's" - although my "what ifs" tend to come true.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


I have no idea what is going through Erik's head, but he keeps dropping the idea about having another baby...ALL THE TIME.

I'm not even close to being ready. Is that selfish? Probably a little.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sadie - 11 months

So much is going on with my little "mammers."

She's cruising like a pro, standing and can take about 2 solid steps before she falls to the ground. She's talking up a storm and it's so amazing to watch. She knows mama and dad, kitty, bah's and la's.

She's going to be a blabbermouth just like her momma.

Her hair is getting so long and I'm not sure if I need to cut it yet. At least cut the bangs in her face. She has been sleeping through the night for well over a week and it's been lovely! We discovered that all she needed were some overnight diapers.

She's pretty much eating off the table now. So we've all adjusted to eating a lot better. Her absolute favorite foods are avacado's and broccoli. Can you believe that? I've still been successful in avoiding the "chicken finger/nugget and french fry" grip. I don't want her to eat all that crap after all the work I did to make sure she got a healthy start.

It's definitely been an adventurous year and I can't believe she's about to turn ONE! I'm so proud of all she's accomplished in this short amount of time. I'm really loving our time together.

Around this time next year, we're going to get to work on making Sadie a BIG SISTER! I can't wait. I'd LOVE to have three kids, but we'll see (keeping fingers crossed).

Job search

So, Erik's been out of work for two months now.

One interview, countless phone screenings that have led nowhere and no job, of course.

For the past few days, I've been scanning corporate websites for job listings and found about a dozen posts that Erik qualifies for. That's a dozen out of 400 companies (at least) that I've looked at.

It's also been pretty hard to find any kind of work for myself that is evening or on the weekend. Actually, it's unheard of.

The craptacular part of all of this is knowing that our tax return - that we had planned on using to refinish our basement and put into savings - is going to us surviving until April/May. I pray that Erik can find work sometime before then. It's scary not having one penny saved up.