Thursday, August 11, 2011

"Get over it"

I will never get over Sawyer's life or his death...

I will never get over making the decision to end my son's life.

I will never get over how it felt to hold a brand new baby in my arms, and watch him slowly die.

I will never get over the way he gasped for air and kept fighting for his life, while my husband and I watched in horror and disbelief, that he kept fighting to live.

I will never get over his nurse checking over and over to hear when his tiny, broken heart finally stopped beating.

I will never get over knowing that the last time I saw his sweet face and touched his soft skin, was when I had to put him into a tiny, black box from the funeral home.

I will never get over you, sweet baby. Never.