Recently, I've connected with another "NICU" mom online and it's been great for me.
She also has FVL and her first-born was in the NICU as well. She's been so kind to offer an ear to listen and she really understands. Also, she's going to help me out with forming a team for next year's March of Dimes Walk For Babies and I can't wait. I hope we can raise a lot of money. People might think I'm nuts, but I really do feel like this is why everything happened the way it did. I want to make a difference.
On another note - I really have gotten over a "hump" in my mental recovery. From Sadie to the horrible infection I suffered - I think I had a lot more emotional baggage to deal with than most women postpartum.
You really can never forget what happened to your child - but there comes a point where you have to embrace it and accept it for what it is. I've finally gotten there. Each day gets better and better. I'm not as depressed. I go out a lot more and I've been keeping busy with my projects for promoting healthy babies and awareness.
I only worry about the future...what will it be like when and if we have another baby. I really am worried about how I would be during another pregnancy. I want to take my own advice and not worry about what could happen (since I pretty much had everything that could have gone wrong - go wrong) but I can't imagine how I wouldn't worry. I guess I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it.
I'm also really excited for this weekend. It's our family picnic and Shannon's baby shower (my cousin Terry's wife). I'm so truly happy for the both of them. My cousin Nicole is also pregnant - and I'm happy beyond words for her and Tony too.
Like my Aunt Mo' said - "It's like 1979 and 1981 all over again" - Between my mom and her sisters/in-laws - there were at least 10 of the 50-something cousins born!
Oh and for funsies - Sadie is the 26th great-grandchild for my grandma - and by the time Nicole has her baby - there will be over 30 great-grandbabies in the Shanahan Clan!!! Amazing!