Friday, April 25, 2008
vacuum - day one
IT SUCKS! literally! haha god i'm funny.
no seriously, the vacuum is on and attached and it's going okay. i'm in a lot of pain from the thing, but every day will get better.
my wound is healing really well. it's starting to "tunnel" - meaning heal from the inside out. the nurse said it looks like a side of beef - which is very good!
i have only two pieces of foam inside instead of three, so it's shrinking slow but sure.
i'm hoping to have this thing off in less than 10 days, but we'll see.
i'm so grateful to my mom. she has stayed here every day since monday to take care of sadie. i dont know what i'd do without her. thanks mom!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
ooooh happy day
i can't wait for the following:
- getting wound vac taken off
- having my c-section HEAL completely!
- being able to walk without pain
- looking at my stomach without that big, ugly lump on it
- finally being able to fully enjoy sadie to the fullest extent
- going on our first "vacation" as a family
- brookfield zoo with my sister or karlene!
- warmer weather
- finding out what ever happened to dan
- telling my EX-doctor what i REALLY think of him
- ending my run of the worst luck ever
- taking sadie to disney world
- planting my flowers
- tomatoes from the garden
- a big ol' thunderstorm (the kind with sirens but no actual tornado)
- finding time to pursue my interests (photography, urbex, etc)
- losing 20 more lbs (when i'm finally able to work out!)
- being good, ol' regular, non-sick ME
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
so i completely lost it today.
sadie is so constipated and the poor thing screamed for a few hours straight. my mom tried everything she could and all i can do is just sit there and try to hold her.
i feel like sadie is so confused - like she doesn't know who her mom is because so much has been going on. everytime she wakes up, it's someone else other than me, picking her up from the crib. i know she misses the routine we used to have.
i love her so much and to be back at square one after you were finally getting into the groove of things is disheartening.
i don't feel like a good mom. i feel like i failed her, it's my fault she got sick. i left her alone all those nights at children's. i should have followed my gut when i KNEW something was wrong with the c-section.
i need to vent. thank god for my mom. and for erik.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
dear god: end my shitty luck. amen.
i really have a good feeling i might get this thing off tomorrow. i'm hardly having any drainage at all.
please let this thing come off me tomorrow. so i can pick up my baby, drive a car, walk without pain, snuggle with my hubby - you know, the usual.
please please please come off me soon herbie (yeah, i named my wound vac, so would you if you were attached to one forEVER).
well, even if it doesn't come off tomorrow, i get to take, dum dum daaaah - A SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. and i feel funky. and probably smell that way too.
i changed my profile song. for whatever reason and for whatever crappy mood i'm in, that song makes me get a goofy grin on my face. because the words are true.
i need a drink. a stiff one.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
please please please please
i know it's bad to want things from god. or blasphemous or whatever - but please pray i get this thing out of me tomorrow - it's been waaaaay too long.
Friday, May 02, 2008
looks like it’s me and herbie
by the time it's all said and done, it'll be over two weeks since i got a wound vac.
looks like i'll continue to annoy everyone for a few more days. especially erik. i think he hates me right about now.
sorry i've been bothering everyone.