Thursday, October 7, 2010

Bully behavior

Normally, I don't get this fired up.

Normally, I don't "like" groups on facebook only to disagree passionately with everything that they have to say.

Normally, I let someone else fight their own battles.

But last night, after witnessing some of the most atrocious, vile behavior I have ever seen in my life - I couldn't sit quietly in the corner. I had to stand up. And I wasn't alone.

A mother, Jill Haskins, lost her beautiful baby Joshua early yesterday morning. His perfect, broken heart worked as hard as it could, but after a long fight his tiny body succumbed to a CHD - Hypoplastic-Left Heart Syndrome.

And now, he is resting in the arms of Jesus. Everyone in the CHD community followed Joshua's story. He and his mother are an inspiration to so many. His loss is so great. And this week especially, after so much loss - while still coming to terms with the death of my own son - has been extremely difficult to comprehend.

Within hours of her son's death, Jill's blog, facebook page, email account and Joshua's caringbridge page came under attack by "intactivists" who full believe that her son's death was the result of his circumcision - you know, not the fact that he was born with half a heart.

Even more disgusting was a certain blogger condoning this type of behavior while just a few weeks earlier - this exact same blogger sent her followers over to this very spot where a relentless attack on me began and continued for weeks.

Is there some sort of movement going on that I don't know about? Is ganging up on the bereaved mother considered some sort of easy attack because maybe she won't stand up to your antics in her time of great sorrow? Maybe she'll take it and you'll get your point across while getting your name out there? No matter what the reason, it's nothing short of the most juvenile, disgusting behavior I have ever seen as a mother in my entire life.

Jill, you are in the hearts and prayers of so many.


Editor, Chateau Screwtop said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Wyatt's Mommie said...

Dear Editor, Chateau Screwtop -

Your name fits you, Screwtop. Maybe if you had any education around hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS), you would understand that Joshua's heart, just like my son's heart, were mutilated before birth. Something that God had in the plan for them. Therefore, it doesn't matter what she chose related to her belief. Her son was born with only one side of his heart functioning. It doesn't matter what happened after the fact. He was already mutilated during his creation. For some sick reason, that was God's plan. When you can explain why a child had to be mutilated at birth, to the fact that they only had one side of working heart, then maybe you can discuss what the mother did. Until then, maybe you should focus on the fact that the child was able to live for as long as he did with the mutilation cause by creation, by God. My son, however, didn't live. Not one day. He couldn't with sat the mutilation that God caused to him. And I hate that fact everyday. But I am told "it is God's plan." Well, you know what, God's plan is stupid. There was no reason to make a child suffer with only half of a vital organ. HLHS typically doesn't result in survivors, and when it does, they have to fight for their life their entire life.
Have you ever lost a child? Just answer that. If you can say that you have, may God bless you, cause you are heartless. Dealing with the loss of the child is hard and painful enough. To have a mother and father dealing with their loss and then to add your disgust to their situation is 100% uncalled for. You should be ashamed of yourself. You make me sick.
A piece of advice, learn about the condition and situation prior to adding more to it. You should be one do have to live with half of a heart. Maybe then you would understand the pain and the mutilation caused by God's plan.

You are sick.

From a mother with passion about HLHS and disgust over God's plan!

Anonymous said...

The first commenter here is an absolutely disgusting "human being." SHAME on you, you fucking sick bastard. You make me sick.

Amber Roseberry said...

Are you kidding me? Do you know anything at all? You think that its ok to kick someone when they just lost their son with your dumbass opinion? That baby was sick, and nothing that mother did or didn't do caused his death. I chose to circumsize my son, so what? I abused him? What we choose for our children is our business. Just because you disagree with something doesn't mean you need to share you opinion, especially to someone who has just lost a child. Go back to kindergarten and re-educate yourself on "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Have some sympathy, act like you have heart. She just lost her child for crying out loud! It's called compassion, get some.

Leslie said...

Hey, "Screwtop".. last I checked this was a free country to with freedom of beliefs. Are people of the Jewish faith "mutilators" because they circumcise? Guess what, they aren't. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, even you .. despite how misguided & cruel you are. It's really sad an innocent baby died & I am sure most of us here would gladly trade YOUR life for his. He obviously had more worth than you.

NO ONE deserves to be harassed after their child as died. I certainly hope that you never have to feel that sort of pain. Then you'd realize your petty ideas mean nothing in the scheme of things. Though I really hope you never breed because I definitely want to keep YOUR genes out of the gene pool for the sake of all our futures. Head your ass off to Oz to get a brain & a heart & maybe some courage to realize that human compassion is what this woman's needs right now, not judgment.

Oh, & my 11 year old son is circumcised & he's fine. My boyfriend is circumcised & he is MORE THAN FINE (bom chicka wow wow)... so yeah. Your argument is invalid. Have a nice day!

Busy Momma said...

wow...just, wow. I read that first post with my jaw completely dropped to the floor!!!!!!
I don't beleive in circumcision but I would NEVER say anything like to a mother...ESPECIALLY one who's son just DIED!!!!!!

MissingYouAlways said...

first commenter...

even if you think circumsision is wrong. keep your fucking opinions to yourself at a time like this.
everyone parents differently, and chooses different things for their children and family, just because you DONT agree with others choices, do you really have to hurt a mother, a family, who is already hurting more then you could ever understand. Many people circumsize, if it was considered "mutalation" or "child abuse" it would be out lawed. not everyone is going to agree with daily choices, but to judge, at such a moment, is heartless, and shows just what kind of person you are.
while there may be other "things" out there like you, (I say things because any HUMAN BEING WITH A HEART would not do what you are doing now) im sure there are twice as many mothers out there, even ones who dont agree with circumcisions who would read your comment and think you are disgusting and cruel.
go crawl back under the rock you came from and leave this mother and family alone..

I feel sorry for your family if you have this much hate in your heart

Lea said...

Wow....just wow. I am totally and completely speechless. Absolutely disgusting.

Sending Jill much love and strength on her journey ahead.

Busy Momma said...

i'd also like to add that it's quite convenient that their blog is not public...hmmmmmm. so you can say horrible things but hide so no one can get to you

Michelle said...

Here's the thing about people like the first commenter (which I am about to remove after this post because really? No one needs to see that).

They are cowards. They hide behind fake names. And they are in no way a real threat to any of us. Just sad people, who really need to be prayed for.

Myer Monster said...

Sounds like someone needs to be punched in the face.

Michelle said...

Took the words right out of my mouth Myer.

Jessica said...

I agree punching seems like a good punishment though I am sure we could think of better. So sorry that there are jerks out there like this. Like life isn't hard enough!

Guggie Daly said...

TFB is not associated with the intactivist community on facebook, and in fact she has attacked several people related to that community.

I think it is fair to remember that people who speak out against routine circumcision have very strong opponents. I have been reading some of the comments on Jill's blog and they leave me wondering if trolls are posting anonymously and pretending to be intactivists. I know I have never commented on Jill's blog, and I know lots of mama friends who would never say crazy or rude things either.

This whole situation is all very strange. There are some very slick people on the blogging world and they seem to know how to hurt multiple people. And the worst part is that these communities (the CHD community, the intactivist community) are only filled with concerned and loving parents who want to share information to help little babies. Instead of meeting and forming an alliance, Baby Joshua's passing has been manipulated by trolls and others like TFB to turn into an ugly fight.

We are a CHD and intact family over here and I would love for the two communities to come together and raise awareness about these issues.