The nerve...

I'm feeling very anxious about my trip to the doctor tomorrow. Mostly, because I'm hoping I can get in soon to get this surgery done. I really can't imagine waiting until after Oct (which is what I'll have to do because of the cruise my mom and dad are going on).

This surgeon is one of the best in the country - so I know he won't jump into it if he doesn't see a reason to. Probably best that it didn't work out with the guy here in Joliet - but at the same time it'd be over with by now.

I really really hate surgery. Honestly, being awake for the c-section was just about the only positive from that experience. I felt in control, I would know if something went wrong...

I HATE being put under. You have NO control and if something did go horribly wrong, I'd never know about it. Well - that could be a good thing too I suppose.

What I'm really getting worked up about is the FVL issue. I'm assuming I'd be on lovenox or heparin again after the surgery. I'm pretty sure no one else cares about this besides me - sometimes you just need to let it all out.

This hurdle will be my final. From Feb 28th on there's been nothing but pain, pain and more pain. Can't wait to start feeling better and running after Sadie. I really can't wait to join the gym again and work on losing another 20-30 more lbs. I was very, very fortunate (in a wierd way) to not have to worry about losing baby weight. But I would feel even more fortunate to keep on the right path toward feeling great about myself!