Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Hot Pockets vs Aldi

as if i have nothing better to write about...

But, seriously folks - name brand Hot Pockets suck in comparison to Aldi's similar version. And for the record - the Aldi pockets are MUCH cheaper, MUCH bigger and come in healthy varieties as well!


mkppk said...

A co-workers of mine eats 5-6 Aldi brand Hot Pockets each day and he often complains about explosive diarrhea, is it just coincidence?

Michelle said...


Jimmy Smits said...

Long story short, a friend of mine was raped by an Elk. That Elk had several boxes of Aldi brand HotPockets on his antlers. As my friend was having his ass pounded with Elk penis, all he could see was those Aldi brand HotPocket packages jostling on the antlers of his hoofed assailant. 6 months later after he got out of the hospital, all he ever wanted to do eat was Aldi brand HotPockets.

Sammy Pooppants said...

It is a well known fact that Aldi brand Hot Pockets are made of:
90% Plastic Polymers
9% Feces
1% "insect product"

No wonder why they have made you so sick. It is also no wonder why it makes Elk so eager to rape humans such as your friend. "Insect Product" content varies widely and is very potent. Common side effects are increased levels of rapeyness.

Michelle said...

do i know you gentlemen?

LaDarrius Jackson said...

Good afternoon gentlemen,
I have a co-worker who recently had abdominal surgery. Julia was well-known to be quite regular before the surgery. In fact, most of the department she worked in could set a watch by the swamp stench emanating from the restroom each morning.

Sadly, after the surgery her bowels became less regular. She tried everything from Taco Bell Cheesaritos with extra guacamole, hot Takis, to Elk burgers. Nothing worked until she tried hot delicious Aldi brand hotpocket.

I can still remember the day she first bit into that sausage pepperoni Aldi brand hotpocket... you could hear her intestines shifting even over the printer from across the room. As Julia sat at her desk taking her second bite of that delectable Aldi brand hotpocket she yelled "SUCCESS!" and we were overcome with that familiar foulness once again. It was a good day. She needed a new chair and the carpet had to be burned, small price to pay she also says tho.